Gay friends experiment

*Originally posted by WeRSauron *
**panache45 - What do they not get from their marriage?

We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharing might also foster friendships between gay and straight men.

The optimal wing men?

Because of the trust they engender from straight women, gay men are uniquely positioned to be excellent “wing men” for single straight men.

There’s a prevailing belief that men – regardless of their sexual orientation – are more sexually promiscuous than women.

I’ve encountered very few who were tops, and even fewer who are free of a tremendous amount of confusion and guilt that they’ve bought into.

I have never felt urge to experiment either. After high-school I met and married a woman and we were together for 9 years. Again, I know nothing of the sort, and always considered straight guys to be completely unattainable.

Now, I don’t have too many straight male friends, and those I do have I’ve never asked about these things… but I’d really like to hear the other side of the story, if there is one.

I wouldn’t do anything, even after 6 beers, but sometimes its nice just to be asked.

Hey, im a straight guy and I have been hit on by some gay guys. I was quite flattered everytime, though the one gay guy that didnt dress that well kinda felt like I was only gettting hit on by the gay guys that dont get many men.

As to the main ?, I have never thought of fooling around with any other men.

So basically, the question is for straight guys:

Have you ever had sexual contact with another male, and under what circumstances. It wouldn’t bother me, in fact I have never even been approached. That doesn’t imply that there’s any “domination” going on, it just means that these men have needs that can’t be satisfied by a woman.

But the men I’m referring to have chosen to live an ostensibly straight lifestyle, usually because of society’s pressures to be “normal,” and have a very closeted life with other men on the side.

What do you think “experimentation” suggests about one’s sexuality (if anything)?

On second thought, ladies please feel free to include your experiences and thoughts about this, I’m sure that is equally as interesting.

Hmmm, well … I’m straight and the thought of experimenting has crossed my mind … I’ve never acted on it, but I think it’s a natural aspect of human sexuality.

And I’m not talking about “experimentation,” as this continues throughout their lifetimes. The first is youthful experimentation, before the participants are fully aware or comfortable with their sexual orientation. Specifically, we’re interested in looking at the reasons gay men and straight men become friends (or remain friends after the gay friend comes out).

My past “experiments” with my guy friends began to really eat at me inside. (I knew of one person who openly boasted that he routinely successfully seduced straight guys at bars.)

WRS

I worked at a topless bar and we had this gay cook, Jason. But there have also always been roadblocks to their formation.

It was with a friend (also male and around the same age) and went on for two or three years. Most are married, with kids, and their families don’t have a clue. I should add that there was also a great deal of getting free of the religious upbringing too so it wasn’t just a single-faceted thing.

Wow, this is probably quite incoherent right now and I really do not know how to I can straighten this out and make it more cohesive so I’m going to leave this as is for now.

I feel fortunate to have left much of the teachings from my junior and high-school behind me.

During the entire length of this relationship, my past experiences chewed me up and it wasn’t until much later in that relationship that I admitted to being sexually molested as a child and began to get some form or other of counseling.

It was not until my late 20’s that I learned the nasty secret truth - I was not gay because I experimented with other guys when a pre-teen.

We currently have a survey investigation underway that explores some of the positive outcomes of “bromosexual” friendships, including our theory that gay men and straight men can be optimal wing men for one another.

Breaking barriers

Friendships between gay and straight men have always existed. Probably more than you think do it, partially perhaps because there’s much less stigma about heterosexual fooling around than homosexual.

We’re part of a team of community, evolutionary and social psychologists that has recently begun a research program with the goal of studying this very topic. I personally never had such experiences, I didn’t have sexual contact with anyone until I was fairly mature and comfortable with my sexuality.

I participated in this type of youthful experimentation from about the age of 6 until 12ish with both males and females.